I have no interest in what you have to say.........

This week I have not been feeling very well, and have just been so very negative. I am usually a positive person, but my life has taken some turns here lately that I am just unable to make sense of. I am very guarded when it comes to my heart. I really very rarely let anyone in becuase of my fear of being hurt. I went against my better judgement and let someone in, and here I am hurt. I know I was wrong in making the decision to let this person in my life, I knew that in the situation we were in, that it would end badly......but yet after repeated warnings form my friends, and my heart, I still ignored everything and proceeded in that relationship.

Yes, I have learned another valuable lesson! But I already knew the outcome before it happened. I guess when you are on your own, and trying to make good decisions, every once and a while you slip up. Luckily I can see this for what it was, a huge mistake and a test of my character. I have said over the past few months that I will not SETTLE for anything less than everything. I deserve to have the best possible outcome for my life. Here is the tricky part, I know that God wants me to have the very best, but Satan keeps throwing up these tests.......ones that I sometimes pass with flying colors, but sometimes I barely make it thru.

I am a very open person, sometimes maybe a little too open for my own good. I believe that honesty is they very best way to manage life, if you are open and honest and have nothing to hide, then you are pretty much good to go. But if the people you surround yourself with are dishonest and sneaky, does that make you the same way by association? I have had someone tell me that you are who you hang out with. It was meant to be a slam on my character, but it made me angry to think that I was being judged on the character of others. I love my friends, they are my family, but they are seperate individuals form me. I like them, are able to make my own decisions and choices, and my decisions and choices are not based on their opinions. I have to make the right choices for me and my kiddos, and sometimes those decisions do not go along with what my friends think I should be doing. So when is it acceptable to tell someone that you have no interest in what they have to say when it come to your life?

I struggle with this only because I think that as christians we are held to a higher standard and I honestly do not want tohurt people. I know that when someone tells me that they think I go out with my friends too much, that they think they are saying what needs to be said tohelp my character. Most people who say that are not single parents, they are unaware of how a single parent does anything. I hear them say things like "I feel like a single parent when my spouse is out of town for a few weeks" But the reality of it is that they have no clue, and will never truly know what it is like until they are sitting in the same boat with you.

So please if you feel the need to judge me on how I am living my life and raising my children, I have no interest in what you have to say!