No time like the present..

Over the last few weeks, I have had time to reflect on so many things. The rise and fall of my marriage being the center of all that right now. It is hard for me to sit and look at everything in a definitive matter, but then again that is how it is.

As a little girl, you grow up thinking what life will be like when you grow up. The kids you will have, the house you will live in, the car you will drive, and of course the man you will marry. Like all little girls I was content knowing that there really is a perfect man for me, and I thought we had met several times thru the years. The typical girl thing! But now as I start this new chapter in my life as a single mom to two beautiful girls, I am looking back to the "what went wrongs?"

I am facing new challenges like getting a job, buying MY own house, and being single again. How people do it, I will never know. It is hard to know that everything I do or say wil shape the girl's life and outlook on marriage forever from here on out. It is a huge responsibility and something that I am taking very seriously.

I am also trying to look out for their best interest. Our divorce is not final yet, but the lines have been drawn in the sand so to speak, and we have to move on. This is a rambling blog today, bc I am sort of just trying to cope and move on. I know that God will provide the answers that I need to get thru this day and all the ones that come after it, but right now I am on my knees before His throne begging for answers and forgiveness.